Black Rubinstein DeyerinHe had been interested in the science of genetics throughout his life. But it didn’t even occur to her to create her family tree until she was in her late 20s and had children.
After the birth of her own child, Kara started to wonder about her family’s past and set out with traditional methods. He first studied old documents and public records of government agencies.
He already knew that the majority of his mother’s ancestors were European. His father, Kenny, was of African descent and descended from a slave who was sold in Texas in the 1800s.
In the following years, Kara’s curiosity increased with the development of DNA technology. He wanted to see how far back the branches of the tree would reach.
For this, at the age of 43, a home made DNA test he bought.
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“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS MEANS”
It was January 2018 when the results became clear.
Looking at the graph showing the percentages of his genes, Kara couldn’t believe her eyes: It said she was 50 percent Ashkenazi Jewish. Even more unbelievable was that he had zero African DNA.
Kara’s first reaction to this picture was to say, “The results are mixed.” This data must have belonged to someone else. Surely someone made a mistake.
When she calmed down a bit, she called a friend and said, “What does that mean?” she asked. His friend calmly told Kara what he was afraid to admit to himself:
“I think you know very well what that means. These results mean that the person you thought was your father is not your father.”
It felt like he had been punched in the black stomach.
“DNA DOES NOT LIE”
Throughout her life, Kara had always heard comments such as “How white your skin is, even though your father is black. It means you’re attracted to your mother…”.
But he didn’t think it was all that weird, as there were other black people who were just as fair-skinned as he was around him.
Moreover, his father, Kenny, had three other children with other white women, and their skin color was not much different from Black’s.
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After getting over the initial shock, Kara called her mother Joey and told her about the results of the DNA test.
The woman was shocked too, but at least she was honest and told her daughter, “DNA doesn’t lie. If the results came out like that, it’s true.”
* * * * *
Joey and Kenny were married on February 14, 1973. Kenny was 24 at the time and Joey was 18. Kenny had recently completed an addiction rehabilitation program.
However, two months after their marriage, the couple broke up when Kenny started using drugs again.
Kenny returned home a few weeks later to pick up the belongings he had left behind, and it was the last time he and Joey became close. Her mother thought she was pregnant with Kara that day.
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After the DNA results came out, Joey realized the truth. The day she got pregnant was about two weeks after she had been with Kenny.
His daughter, Kara, was the result of a one-night stand with a much older Jewish man. The biological father was that man.
“YOU ARE STILL MY GIRL”
Kara didn’t know how to explain this truth to Kenny. She was giving the hardest speech of her life, she couldn’t tell her troubles because of crying.
Eventually, she told Kenny everything and got an answer that any child would want to hear. “It doesn’t matter to me, baby,” Kenny had said. “You are still my daughter.”
It was very important for Kara to hear this. Because Kara started seeing Kenny again when she was in her late 10s.
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Kenny had stopped using drugs and began counseling other addicts on recovery. They reconciled their father-daughter relationship and established a healthy relationship.
Even Kenny and Joey had reconciled and resumed their relationship, albeit for five years.
This photo of Kenny, who died of lung cancer in 2020, was taken when Kara’s middle son Stryder was born.
This photo of Kenny, who died of lung cancer in 2020, was taken when Kara’s middle son Stryder was born.
“WE ACCEPT EVERYONE”
Joey had always wanted Kara to get to know Kenny’s family. Kara was especially close with her grandfather, whom she called “Pop.”
The old man would comment on Kara’s fair skin and describe how horrible slavery was. Pop always said to Kara, “We welcome anyone, girl.”
Kara was bullied at school because she was the child of multi-ethnic parents.
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Other kids were hurling racial insults at Kara. None of this stopped Kara from being proud of her origins.
Yet he felt neither black nor white. After getting the result of the DNA test, he understood why: It was expected that something would happen to him that he was not.
** * * *
After learning the truth about her biological father, Kara consulted the DNA database on Ancestry.com to find her parents. He achieved his first genetic match in the spring of 2018. This person was a woman who had a second navel cousin.
With the woman’s help, they began to expand the tree through their shared DNA. They finally arrived at the name of Kara’s biological father in the fall of 2018.
This man, who died 11 years ago, was a well-known businessman and philanthropist. Kara confirmed this information in 2019 with the help of a genetic geneticist.
He gave a photo of his biological father to his cousin Kara, whom he met through Ancestry.com, and said they looked very similar.
“You have a sparkle in your eye,” people had told Kara all her life. According to her cousin, the same sparkle was in the eyes of Kara’s biological father. “You’re attracted to him,” said his cousin.
Black as a baby in Kenny’s father’s lap
“It’s Not My Fault That My Father Cheated On His Wife”
Kara contacted her biological father’s family, but the family did not want to meet Kara. They thought that having a child out of wedlock would tarnish the deceased’s name.
Telling his story to the US-based news site Insider recently, Kara said, “It’s not my fault that my biological father cheated on his wife. I would give anything to get to know him. I don’t know whether he would accept me or reject me. This is something I will never have to face.”
Adopting her new identity over time, thanks to the help of her husband Marcus and her therapist, Kara first changed her name to include her biological father’s surname last October, and later embraced Judaism.
In 2019, Kara launched the non-profit organization Right to Know to defend the rights of people like herself.
“An 85-year-old man called our helpline recently. I recently learned that my father is not my father. I want to know who I am before I die,” Kara told Insider.
WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO KNOW THE HISTORY OF THE BIOLOGICAL FAMILY?
As home DNA tests have become more common in the United States recently, the number of individuals who learn that people whose parents know are not their biological parents is also increasing.
Right to Know argues that everyone has the right to know their biological parents’ origins and medical histories. Because family history is critical in the diagnosis and treatment of diseases with genetic origins.
Right to Know, which is campaigning for a change in US law, wants the biological parent to be on the birth certificate without any rights or responsibilities over the child.
Kara also stated that she recently experienced this need firsthand.
Namely, his youngest son had a health problem recently. The source of this problem was the child’s kidney or bladder.
“The doctor asked if there was any disease related to these organs in my family history to determine the tests to be done. You can imagine how frustrating it is to not be able to answer this question,” Kara said.
Posted on Insider, “I thought I was biracial my entire life. At 43, a DNA test revealed I’m white with Jewish ancestry.” Extracted from the article. Photos are also taken from the same source.
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